How I navigated Potty Training my toddler on the spectrum
Potty training is a significant milestone in a child’s development but can present unique challenges for toddlers on the autism spectrum. The complexities of autism, including sensory sensitivities, communication barriers, and a preference for routine, can make learning to use the toilet more challenging. However, with a tailored approach and understanding, parents and caregivers can effectively support their child through this transition.
Our journey began even before Kairos was diagnosed; at just 2 years old, there was significant pressure from family to initiate potty training, citing this as the typical age for children to start learning. Yet, Kairos always stood out, particularly because he was non-verbal. I was immediately concerned about how he would signal his need to use the potty. My approach to new challenges is to seek knowledge, so I turned to following experts on Instagram, reading various articles, and watching videos on numerous potty training techniques. Over six months, our efforts to potty train were sporadic; we tried taking him to the potty based on our intuition, setting a timer to take him every 15 minutes, and even letting him wear only underwear. Unfortunately, these methods resulted in accidents that left us feeling defeated, leading us to give up temporarily. After Kairos received his diagnosis, we decided to delay potty training for another six months. This period allowed us to fully grasp his diagnosis and understand what potty training entails for a child on the autism spectrum. It was crucial to devise a comprehensive plan that now involved his teachers, ensuring a more tailored and supportive approach moving forward.
Before diving into the potty training process, it’s crucial to recognize the specific challenges that children on the spectrum may face:
Sensory Sensitivities: Many autistic children are highly sensitive to sensory inputs, which can make the bathroom environment overwhelming. The sound of flushing, the feeling of sitting on a potty, or the sensation of water can be distressing.
Communication Barriers: Difficulty in understanding and using language can make it hard for a child to express needs or understand instructions related to potty training.
Adherence to Routine: Autistic children often prefer and rely on routines, and any change, such as transitioning from diapers to using the toilet, can be stressful.
Having this knowledge, we created a Step-by-Step guide to potty training that we felt would work for Kairos using the following tools:
1. Preparation is Key
Create a Comfortable Environment: Ensure the bathroom is a calming space. Consider using a potty chair that the child can easily access and feel comfortable using.
Use Visual Aids: Visual schedules or charts can help explain the potty training process in a clear, step-by-step manner. Pictures illustrating each step can be particularly helpful.
2. Introduce the Concept Gradually
Familiarization: Allow the child to get familiar with the potty by letting them explore it without the pressure to use it immediately.
Modeling: Demonstrate how to use the toilet through actions or with the help of a doll. This visual learning can make the process more understandable.
3. Establish a Routine
Consistent Schedule: Set regular intervals for bathroom breaks. This predictability can help reduce anxiety and build a routine.
Use of Timers: A timer can signal when it’s time to try using the potty, helping the child understand and anticipate the next bathroom break.
4. Positive Reinforcement
Celebrate Success: Praise and rewards can motivate and reinforce positive behavior. Find out what genuinely motivates your child, whether it’s verbal praise, stickers, or a small reward.
Stay Positive: Focus on the progress made, rather than setbacks. Consistency and encouragement are key.
5. Adapt to Sensory Needs
Address Sensory Discomfort: If the child is sensitive to certain sensations, try to mitigate these. For example, if the sound of flushing is a problem, allow the child to leave the bathroom before flushing.
Clothing Choices: Use easy-to-remove clothing to simplify the process for the child.
6. Communication and Support
Use Clear, Simple Language: Communicate what you’re doing and what you expect from the child in a straightforward manner.
Support Independence: Encourage independence by allowing the child to participate in the process, such as washing hands, to build confidence.
7. Patience and Flexibility
Be Patient: Understand that progress may be slow and that setbacks are part of the learning process.
Flexibility: Be prepared to adjust the approach based on what works best for your child. Each child on the autism spectrum is unique, and what works for one may not work for another.
To devise a potty training strategy for Kairos that incorporated various techniques, we recognized the need to allocate a dedicated time frame to work closely with him. We chose to exclude external parties like teachers from this phase. Despite Kairos receiving support at school, we understood that his teachers wouldn’t be able to dedicate the focused time required for potty training in alignment with our home-based methods. We aimed for a seamless and efficient progression. Kairos typically participated in Extended School Year (ESY) programs or attended camps for children with special needs during the summer. However, we opted to keep him home this summer to concentrate on potty training, with the objective of achieving this milestone before the new school year began. As Kairos was nearing four years old, we were keen to move away from pull-ups.
We positioned the potty outside our bathroom to minimize distractions for Kairos, yet allowed him visibility of us using the toilet, setting up a dedicated and encouraging environment with a reward chart. We explained to Kairos that this was his potty for both bowel and bladder movements. Accompanying him to the bathroom became a strategy to encourage him to stay seated on the potty. By anticipating his bowel movement times and removing his pull-ups 15 minutes prior, we closely monitored for cues to guide him. After a week of consistent effort, Kairos began using the potty independently for bowel movements. We were able to now transition him to the adult potty using a toddler potty seat and a step up stool. The challenge was to manage frequent urination accidents since we kept him in underwear.
Despite the exhaustive process, the focus remained on celebrating Kairos’s progress, particularly his independence in bowel movements. We frequently celebrated his milestones and shared his achievements with his grandparents to bolster his confidence. Once Kairos became comfortable with bowel movements in the potty, his father assisted with teaching him to urinate while standing, including accompanying him during bathroom visits. This phase required persistent reminders, demonstrations, and patience through numerous accidents until Kairos learned to urinate independently.
By the end of summer, Kairos had mastered both bowel and bladder control using the potty, and we introduced the final step of encouraging him to urinate before bedtime, aiming to eliminate the need for pull-ups at night. This journey spanned approximately five months until we could confidently consider Kairos potty trained.
Potty training Kairos was incredibly challenging, but working from home provided me the opportunity to monitor his progress closely, and having a supportive partner was instrumental in our success. Every family’s experience is unique, yet I believe that a well-structured plan, grounded in consistency and patience, is critical for success in potty training a child on the autism spectrum.
Potty training a toddler on the autism spectrum requires patience, understanding, and a tailored approach. By acknowledging the child’s unique needs and employing strategies that cater to these, parents and caregivers can navigate the complexities of potty training. Remember, every child’s journey to becoming potty trained is different, and celebrating the small victories along the way can make a significant difference in their progress.
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Guest Post by Ariel Li
Check out her Instagram Page @kairosspeaks
